As I was saying....

Hope you all enjoyed your beverage(s).

So, where was I? My dog.......sailing......that's right, we were talking about the state of affairs in the race for the Big House. First off, lest anyone think I have an allegiance to any one of the candidates, it couldn't be further from the truth right now. I think each of them leaves much to be desired, and it hurts when I try to make sense of what each of them is getting at. It appears it hurts them, too. Just look at the pained facial expressions they have when they are addressing a crowd or moderator. No I couldn't do a better job, I wouldn't even begin to think that I could, but I can think of many others who could. But even that doesn't matter - the table has been set.

Hillary is lost. Not as in "lost in space" but as in "where the hell am I?" Talk about someone that has lost all sense of direction. Just picture a player that has left third base too early and is caught between the bag and home plate and the pitcher is running straight at him with the ball. It's the bottom of the ninth, and her team is down by a run with two outs.

That's Hillary right now - do I go back to third? Do I just put my head down and plow toward home plate and hope I make it? Or should I stand here and try to deke the pitcher into making a throw before he gets to me? Her head is going back and forth between home plate and third base, her arms are stretched out in an attempt to maintain her balance, and her feet are twitching like she is in bare feet on hot coals. Of course, anything can happen, but the odds are heavily stacked against her. Home plate must seem like it's a million miles away, and third base is quickly becoming a distant memory. Her third base coach, Bill, was rendered deaf, dumb, and blind back in the fifth inning, so he's just standing in the coach's box listening to his Ipod and dreaming of his playing days.

McCain meanwhile is in the stands watching and waiting as he will be playing the winner of this one. He still hasn't decided on a name for his team yet. Ummm, the Conservatives? The middle-of-the-road Republicans? Or maybe the Quasi Republicans? Yeah, that's it, that even sounds like it might appeal to Native Americans. Talk about a chameleon. Never trust a chameleon, anyone that thinks they can change who they are depending on who they are with, doesn't truly know who they are.

And then we have Obama-lama-ding-dong. He has a big, white sailboat and he's telling everyone to get on because they are going to be sailing to a bright future. He has all kinds of ideas and wants to go from port to port creating jobs, educating people, and putting an end to gang wars both here and abroad. He's ambitious and bright, and represents a change like no one else has in many years.

So when is someone going to ask him if he knows how to sail? The seas can be rough and unforgiving, currents change, and tides rise and fall. One day there's a shallow sand bar where just a few days earlier the channel was open and deep.

Funny how just the other day one of Obama's mates, a congressman from Texas, was asked about why he is such a staunch supporter of him. The mate was almost bubbly in his excitement about going sailing with him. Then the newsman asked him to talk about the Captain's accomplishments......he was speachless. The newsman asked again, "What has the Captain done that has you so sure he can sail into a glorious future?" The mate could not answer, nada, nothing. When pressed, he just sat and looked much like the cat that has swallowed a canary.

Can anyone, including the candidate himself, tell me what the hell he has done that indicates he can sail this damn boat? And why are so many people assuming he can without checking his log? Are Americans that jaded by the last 7 years?

I think I need to go fishing. Anyone seen my dog?

Oh, that's right, I don't have a dog but I bet you thought I did just because I said I did................